The Vacation

I will dedicate this poem written by someone for her best friend...to some people in my life. I wish one of them were with me on this vacation. It would have been so good...so nice...and.....

I hope you really know
How much I truly care
Because when I’m away from you
It’s like something isn’t there

Like on this great vacation
Where I’m having so much fun
It feels like part of me is missing
I wish that I could share this sun

I’ve been wishing I could be with you
Each and every day
Because I trust that with you by my side
Everything will always be okay

I want to share this awesome experience
With you and only you
If I could, I’d capture every moment
So you could live this, too

In a box with sandy beaches
I’d put the perfect skies of blue
And I’d bottle up the endless ocean
To bring it back for you

I love you like a sister
I hope that’s something you’ll never forget
And I’ll say I’m sorry now
If I ever do something we’ll regret

You don’t know how much I missed you
And for that, I’m glad to be back
Now I know for certain
Forever our friendship will stay in tact.

The Happy Birthday Song

When no gifts look perfect
When no words can define
When moments fly away
And yet I can't decide.

I look above to find God
Have become such a wretch
I talk to myself
I talk to your sketch.

I run away further
Only to run deep into you
I drown myself in what not
Yet I haven't got a clue.

I stop to look for answers
I stop for any solution
I leave it all to you
To ease all my tension.

Now out I come
My mind is clear
My heart has stopped long back
Happy Birthday to You Dear...
You can forget all this that :)

Moving On

It's been two years you are gone
And I am still searching for you
I find a strange pattern in the songs
Playing on late night FM
I hear you in them
I read our story in them
I rush to the door
I thought I heard you knock
Through the magic eye
I see none
You are gone
But I...
I am still waiting
I imagine your cheek against mine
When the lights are off
I wait to feel your arms
But all that embraces me
Is the eternal darkness around
And arms of strangers
In which I retire, tired worn out
I die a thousand times everyday
Thinking about the moments we lived
I have moved on
I cant move on
Caught in a time warp
Caught in the monstrosity of love
And I do walk in the valley of death
I fear no one
I walk with the hope
That you are just out there
Waiting for me...
To hold me again.

Tom Thumb (nee Tomboy..Toonboy)

I wish I was a snowflake,

And fell on those long eye lashes,

I will melt and enter those eyes,

Those big brown eyes which look so kind,

Those eyes which sway my heart and mind.

I am Tom Thumb, the climber

Who would climb the hill of that nose

Balancing, falling, and slipping at last

On the softness below…

I will sit like a baby on a soft soft couch,

The soft couch of those lips,

I will roll on them and fall on them.

Till I fall asleep.

On the path of the neck,

I trudge along,

Till I fall on your heart.

Then I smile and sigh a bit,

As I hear your heart beat.

I run and hide in the waves,

Like Tarzan swinging,

From one lock to another,

I move on, like Tarzan yelling.

I drop onto those shoulders,

And sit there for a while,

You look busy…you keep on working,

You miss out on my smile.

I whisper your name,

In your ear,

I play with your rings,

I blow kisses, I cry, and rant,

But you don’t seem to hear.

I guess I am little Tom Thumb

I am brave... I can dare.

I can win Snow-white, Cinderella, and Rapunzel,

But...never it seems Ms. Ra---ael.

Poem Of a Lost Soul

There was a time when I was happy
Not fulfilled but happy
I would not try to find ways
To give myself pain
Why should any situations or anyone give me pain,
If I am secure myself,
If I know how to handle things?
But it's so horrible what I am feeling now.
When you are at cross roads
Found your identity
Been a rebel
Found your freedom
And that's it
You were all that you had
You still have yourself.
Is that a failure?
Is that a victory?
But I am losing myself fast.
With every passage of a year,
I am stronger
But the damage happens, is imminent
Though the delay time varies.
I need stability
I need more than myself to be alive.
It is time when I cannot
Hide any more
It's like erupting lava from earth's core.
I cannot control myself...anymore.
Tired of being a lost ship,
I need to find my shore.

My Chant of God in God's Own Country

You stood there looking into my eyes as I turned away
I don't know if this is the right time
But I am coming after you anyway
I gazed on to the night sky
On my journey towards you
The moon taunted me
I don't know if I am in love
You just you, I only wanted to see
I could hear the crickets singing in the jungle
The birds singing in the tree
I can hear his heart beat
Feel his breath
As he made love to me
I closed my eyes
I was so full of you
I wanted you desperately

I sat in the sunset
Gazing into the red depths of the sky
All was red
And it bled
All was red in my love and in the sun
And into your arms
I wanted to run.
I thought of my memory
With you on the beach and I closed my eyes
I lay down in peace
Your hair fell on my face
I don't believe it was the breeze.

And I can feel you were not there,
So I journeyed again
To lose you one more time
Your dry hands, I love,
And every mark on it
Has my destiny written.
And those big brown eyes
Drain me...ravage me
I totally give up.

I had to go there
Because you were there
And I came back
Before...with you
It was all my destiny
I had to be here
To love you.
I fear and wake in the night
Thinking I will lose you.
And don't you know
That I couldn't just see you go...
And when I feel blue
I just spend my time...
Sketching you...

And I did call you...
In my sleep...in my awakenings
In my smiles, in my tears...
My chant of God...
In God's own country
To the hills, to the woods
To the sky, to the sea
I prayed for a lil place...
In your heart my lady.

The Time Comes to an End...

Christmas is round the corner
It's also time for me to wrap up
The year shall end and so shall my stay...
I wish we had more time together.

I do recall the first time I saw you on the floor
You looked detached...arrogant at times
But you looked at me with all attention
You held my gaze.
It pinned itself on my psyche
Your sharp face.

I found your name on the newsletter
I do recall the day we smiled
In the restroom
I do remember, I introduced myself at lunch
The story began there and ran off.

Now I know just one intoxication
Which lies in the deep brown depths of your eyes
I shall miss talking to them with mine
I will miss catching in them the golden sun shine.

Not to miss the sweetness of your accented language...
Not to miss the rough feel of your palms...
Not to miss your pixie smile...
Not to miss your expressive face...
Not to miss what you felt for me...
It...will take me a while.

Will you forget me?
Will you remember the times?
I do not know.
I just hope you do...
'Coz I can't help expecting just this bit from you.

Love you destroyed me again...ravaged me

You made my heart bleed today

And I can't stand there

Seeing you taken away

I can't look into your eyes

I can't stop myself from telling

I love you...I can't see this...

I am going to leave soon

I am down in an abyss and can't rise

Your smile and happiness

Your honesty and goodness

I know I can't be anywhere

But I love you

Without wanting you

Without trying to control you

And I will never tell you...

I will just love you...

As you said words are not required

I will love you silently

Worship you...

I just give up because nothing can control my heart...just looking at you smiling is enough and I know now why people run away from love...from impossible love because they can't see themselves destroyed by the loss........................I can't see you becoming someone else's...............Love you destroyed me again...ravaged me

Lonely at Work

At times when I am extremely busy at work, a friendly touch...may be charity, work good for me. I am human after all. How long can I just ignore these?

Sometimes people make you feel so special and their actions surprise you. Some times you get positive friendly vibes and become friends. They start becoming a part of your life though not the most important part. Then they suddenly disappear or play up their mood swings. Every relationship requires nurture in some way...especially when you have close physical proximity. But it seems everything is a lie rather than an illusion.

I do swear that I will not walk that lane again and I promise not to be taken for granted.

I drown inside a deluge of work
With phone calls, emails, meetings, and reviews.
She hardly cares nowadays
Did she ever care
I am so amazed
Is she just like the others
Vain and carefree really?
And I thought sunny side will be up always
That tower of positivity
Is now razed
I am a fool
I have been a fool
I am so sincere in my work
But I have no light moments to share
I really have no one who cares
With no one at home
A smile at work means so much to me
A smile, a kind word, a pat, and some charity.
No judgment though
Only some bits of gaiety.
I don't even have chat buddies at work
I am so blue at times.
More so because she hardly cares nowadays
When only lately she seemed fine.
I don't expect much...
Because for her...
I may be just a time pass.

Longing

It is so difficult to handle longing,
When the object of your longing is around,
You end up talking and acting silly,
Your feet seem to slip the ground.

When you are so so near me,
I can feel your presence,
They topple me totally,
The heat of your body and your fragrance.

Your dress brushes my arm,
I feel like holding you close,
And when you look at me,
I totally get disposed.

How long can I control?
How long can I conceal it?
How long can I stay away from you?
How long can I stop my lips?

My lips want to tell you all,
My lips want to kiss you,
My lips want to worship you,
My lips don't want to miss you.

I want to crash down on you,
Like a shooting star,
I want to splash down on you
Like the ocean waves from far.

Take me, finish me...
Start me again,
Love me destroy me...
Fall on me like the rain.

Coup De Foudre

I don't know how I can stop myself from falling into you.

Gradually, I am flowing like a river to the sea.

I cannot resist the slope, the fluid in me.

I want you to be happy and satisfied.

I want to bring this world at your feet.

I don't like to see you sick.

When you are, I see the setting sun in your eyes.

I want to see the sunny heaven in them always.

I 'll chant of God when I look at them, holding your hands.

You are like poetry.

You are like the first stroke in the canvas.

You are like a little serene pond in a green patch.

I look at those idols and I fold my arms in worship.

But I find Her face in you.

I wish I was a little baby in your arms.

And you will cuddle and kiss me to sleep.

While I close my eyes you will pat me.

I know I fit no where in your life.

I don't think I can be anybody in it.

Yet you take away my sleep.

And take away my breath.

You take away my pain too.

And wherever I am, with whoever I am...

My mind just thinks of you...

And my heart beats blue blue

You Take My Breath Away

Every time I see you

You take my breath away

All the words you've spoken

Flows like a river through me

My fortress of control is totally broken

I love your imperfections

Which make you unique

I do have now become an emotional leak

I never knew I will feel like this again

I never knew I''ll turn into insane

It shows in my face

It glows and puts the grace

In me what all did notice

I was like this all the time I wish

I thought about you

I thought about you all day

I touched myself

Thinking you were there

What have I become?

What have you made me?

I am swept apart with your inner beauty...

The Green Maze Muse

Happy Birthday to my ex-Senior. I have been luckily inspired to create a whole junkyard of passionate poems dedicated to this beautiful mesmerizing green knight. Well memories of our confused relation and how much I loved to embarrass her still puts a smile on my lips...so here's the last one which is a sequence to the first love poem in this blog.

'The Green Maze Revisited'

Long since I have walked in the green maze...
Long since I have held that gaze...
Long since I have looked on those hills...
Long since I got drenched in the monsoon drizzles.

It seems like a past life so dear
Its seems so distant yet so near
The rivers change their courses
The seasons rotate and disappear
I find myself lost
When I wonder how I got here...
But I can just close my eyes and dream again
Of the hills, of the rain drenched paths, of the smiles,
Of the riddles, of the journeys...
I can get lost again...
In the endless green,
And search for that flame
To show me the way
Out of this night...
Into the day.

My Mistake

I sometimes think how my mistake

Cost us our happiness

How I lost you

How you lost me

Existing just in my agony

My thoughts, my dreams and in my fantasies.

Why I didn't stop you?

Why was I waiting for a sign from you?

Didn't I know you

What you were into?

What a fool I was

And I cannot reverse

All that's done to my destiny

Which I curse...

I should have told you...

You cannot be someone else's

I won't let you leave me this time

I refuse to cry or take this pain

You are coming with me

Tell your family...farewell

Tell your troubles...go to hell!

I should have told you...

I love you more than anything in this world

And you better accept me as I am...

Is there still a chance?

To tell you?

Sweet Stranger

I lay on the grass gazing at the night sky,

Looking deep and mysterious like you.

It gazed down on me, yet remained so far;

I gazed on… till it turned blue.

I was drenched in the dew;

I could hear birds waking up;

My tired eyes felt heavy;

I wished for a tea cup.

You may wonder, do I think about you?

Do I still remember lying on the bed of roses?

Do I remember your touch and

The warm embraces?

I do remember you looking at me,

From across a crowded room.

I remember going through the dusty archive,

And a madness of a wet afternoon.

I remember your reluctance,

I remember the lies you spoke to me,

I remember googling your name,

And trying to find you in FB.

I do not miss you?

You may wonder...

You may think I regret it all

Thinking as my greatest blunder.

You hardly know,

So do not assume my sweet stranger…

That one day and those stolen moments,

Made my dead life bloom.

Miss My Life

I miss my life all the time. My life which lived in the shadows of your light. As I see the Universe conspiring all the time to keep me alive but not conspiring to bring you to me. When love is new, so I should tend it like a new born baby. Nourish it. But I have been walking on burning ashes for an eternity. Loving you and not knowing it.

I am trying to figure out still why you kill me softly even while running like oxygen through my blood. The last time I smiled was with you, the last time I worshiped was with you, the last time I was happy was with you. Why do you ask me where I am? With you in life and always…

How can I hide you? How can you hide me? You destroyed me my life. I never lived before I met you and when I met you…I was complete and finished.

Imminent

When death is imminent then what must one do?
Seen all the pros...
Evaluated the options,
Struggled in vain...
There is no escape,
Only the attempts to break free
Makes one more weak
I am going to rot in this place
Rot with no one around
No one to turn to
Wasting my life
Watching the scavengers feeding on me
I have reached the last chapter.
I only wish and hope,
May I look unto your face,
One last time
Till these eyes are gone.

Tears of a Jan

The tears which never fell
On a long forgotten Jan
Fall now
In them I see you
I see you in the mirror of tears
The light of my life
You left me in a Jan
Soaked in tears, you went

I called you so many times
I lost my head
Are you safe?
Have you reached?
Is that what I really wanted to tell you?

People lose their heads
I lost mine
Never knew why
Though you knew it
I was a fool.

I kept running from then on
You kept running too
You gave up...
I also want to give up
In your arms
I want to die just
Looking at you.


---Dedication to someone...is the person expecting someone?

Looking for a Sign

This poem is actually an answer to a poem written by a close friend of mine. He however did not write his poem for me. Perhaps he wrote it for someone who is in a somewhat similar situation like me. Here goes my poem...

Looking for a Sign

I lived my life
Did I live it right?
I lived on the edge of pain
I wanted to run away
'Coz it was driving me insane.

I have lost the words
I have lost my head
I have tried to cry so much
I stopped thinkin...thought I am dead
The pain and days were such.

But I smile a lot nowadays
I try to be like the sun
I try to hold my head up high
I try not to miss any fun...

I do have them beside me
Who love and care,
But I turn away often now,
Because it's not worth to share.

I just see a sea in front of me
With no land in sight
Its big...its deep and so consuming
I just cannot define...
It's not you dear one,
It's me looking for a sign.

'Sau Shabd'

Ek sau saal gayi aap se milne mei...
Aur sau just to say...
Pata nahi kya bol gaye
Kuch sahi bole zyada galat bole
Sau pal bhi guzaare nahi saath mei
Sau janaamno ki kwab dekh liye
Rista kabhi to jura nahi
Dil tuta hai sau tookron mei
Sirf tasveer yaadon ke sahaare
Sau baar mare...jiye nahi
Sau sau din jo beech mein guzre
Sirf pyar kiye aur kuch kiye nahi.
Kuch bhi nahi mila unse...
Dard to bahut mila
Pyar kiya to is dard se hi to kiya,
Is dard ke bina sau saal kya...ek din bhi nahi jiyaa.
Sau shabd hi hai hammare paas
Tofa hai kabool kare,
Yeh shabd hai aadat meri zindagi ki
Yeh shabd meri maut bhi hai...
Sau sau baar marte hi
Sau baar jite hai isi shabd se
Yeh shabd mere khoon mei behte hai
Yeh shabd mere dhadkan mei rehte hai
Yeh shabd sau baar ek pal mein lete hai
To aaj aapko wohi shabd ka tofa dete hai
Woh shabd aap ko bhi azeez hai
Ka ii baar aapne bhi woh shabd likha hai...
Mere haath mei bhi aapne kabhi likha tha...
Woh shabd
Kya aapko nahi hai pata?
Apko aap hi kaa naam ka aaj hum de gaye tofa.