Rainbow Souls

Music, Dance and intellectual parley brought two people from very different planes together. Among riots of rainbow colours these two wild souls danced away into the rainbow sunrise.

 

When words even lose their ability to express, floating and drowning in a river of love, these two souls merged with the rainbow sea.

 

There were onlookers who watched in awe drinking the craziness of these two souls. These two souls rising and falling with the emotions without names.

 

They were lost in the seven colours of the rainbow and when they emerged, they had added more colours to the rainbow.

 

They don’t seem to talk in anything else other than poetry nowadays. They don’t know whether they died, just died or became undead. All that they can remember individually…"I am nowhere inside…I am just fulfilled just by you…filled with you…"

Enough of you and me and they...

You are compelled by your own reasons
You think they make sense
I asked you let me know if you reached safely
I know you will
Yet you never send a word
Do you think that hurt heals with counter hurting
You see through that lense
You dont know its just a mirror
You just see yourself
You don't see me.

I don't need a reason to...
Spend time with you
To dine with you
To buy medicines for you
To take care of you
To forgive your rashness
To forgive your stupidity
To see you wasting yourself with others
To hold you when you are your tipsy self.

And yet you come back..
Over and over
With your pain
You think I am kind
I won't ask, I won't judge, I won't tell.
But I am human,
And I can't take this anymore.
Enough of you and me and they...
Think about us...'US'

My Two Year Exile

Over the barren strange land which threatened to crush me, I never got attached to anything. May be just the gushing waters of Bay of Bengal and the sad lonely moon. Then one day, when I got struck and lay there looking at myself crippled...along came chant of God. But now it is gone...every bit of solace it brought and the happy surprises which followed the ignorant pain in a city called...never mind.

For two years I had drifted alone

Without land in sight

Then you came

You sheltered me

And now I think how could it be?

That I was happy with a mirage

There was no land

I never really held that kind hand

When I thought I had something

To hold on

That something nourished me

Kept me going

Those kind eyes swept me off

And now I wonder what I was doing?

That it was all a mirage

That kept me alive

That it was never real

For a moment I was given what I wanted

To keep me alive

To put a smile on my face

To pick me up from the dirt of the earth

But it was never real

It's gone

And here I am smiling alone.

Living with Both of You

I am bound to you in an eternal bond of worship.
You left me but the empty bed still feels warm with your warmth and my hands still feels your life force.
You ask me to live and you know that in this string of worship, she is also there.
Somewhere with us, beside us, between us.
I cover your eyes with my palm and see her nose and lips.
Why did you both have to be so vivid a reflection of each other?
Her mortal body left me and your heart is parked somewhere else...
And both of you ask me to live?

There were days when I fell asleep near her feet
Holding them close to my heart
There were days
When the morning sun would fade out
When she opened her dreamy eyes
To look into mine
And I feel you holding me close
Just letting your lips
Touch my heart
And I remember those mornings
The same feeling when your ruggedness just melts out to her...
I hug her to wake her up
But she closes her eyes
And I know...
My cool skin after the bath and cologne
Can feel her long eye lashes, her long nose, and sleepy lips
Between the open buttons of my shirt...

I shudder and hold her away
Lest she read my heart beat...
I shudder again...
But you hold me close...
And don't let me go...
And I feel your weight on me...
And I know she is nowhere...
And you tell me...
Stop thinking...

Moving On

It's been two years you are gone
And I am still searching for you
I find a strange pattern in the songs
Playing on late night FM
I hear you in them
I read our story in them
I rush to the door
I thought I heard you knock
Through the magic eye
I see none
You are gone
But I...
I am still waiting
I imagine your cheek against mine
When the lights are off
I wait to feel your arms
But all that embraces me
Is the eternal darkness around
And arms of strangers
In which I retire, tired worn out
I die a thousand times everyday
Thinking about the moments we lived
I have moved on
I cant move on
Caught in a time warp
Caught in the monstrosity of love
And I do walk in the valley of death
I fear no one
I walk with the hope
That you are just out there
Waiting for me...
To hold me again.

Tom Thumb (nee Tomboy..Toonboy)

I wish I was a snowflake,

And fell on those long eye lashes,

I will melt and enter those eyes,

Those big brown eyes which look so kind,

Those eyes which sway my heart and mind.

I am Tom Thumb, the climber

Who would climb the hill of that nose

Balancing, falling, and slipping at last

On the softness below…

I will sit like a baby on a soft soft couch,

The soft couch of those lips,

I will roll on them and fall on them.

Till I fall asleep.

On the path of the neck,

I trudge along,

Till I fall on your heart.

Then I smile and sigh a bit,

As I hear your heart beat.

I run and hide in the waves,

Like Tarzan swinging,

From one lock to another,

I move on, like Tarzan yelling.

I drop onto those shoulders,

And sit there for a while,

You look busy…you keep on working,

You miss out on my smile.

I whisper your name,

In your ear,

I play with your rings,

I blow kisses, I cry, and rant,

But you don’t seem to hear.

I guess I am little Tom Thumb

I am brave... I can dare.

I can win Snow-white, Cinderella, and Rapunzel,

But...never it seems Ms. Ra---ael.

My Rose Day Date

It would have been so much easier
Had we remained strangers
'Coz I saw what I had  to see
And I can't see any more,
As I leave the sea shore;
A sea of tears
And I can't see any more now .
Yes it's better you leave me
'Coz I can never leave you
Standing there bading farewell
I wished you saw
I wished...
But wishes are not realities
But heart has its frailties
It feels and it dies
With the lows and the highs.
And I wished for more time
O' I wish I had more time...

My Chant of God in God's Own Country

You stood there looking into my eyes as I turned away
I don't know if this is the right time
But I am coming after you anyway
I gazed on to the night sky
On my journey towards you
The moon taunted me
I don't know if I am in love
You just you, I only wanted to see
I could hear the crickets singing in the jungle
The birds singing in the tree
I can hear his heart beat
Feel his breath
As he made love to me
I closed my eyes
I was so full of you
I wanted you desperately

I sat in the sunset
Gazing into the red depths of the sky
All was red
And it bled
All was red in my love and in the sun
And into your arms
I wanted to run.
I thought of my memory
With you on the beach and I closed my eyes
I lay down in peace
Your hair fell on my face
I don't believe it was the breeze.

And I can feel you were not there,
So I journeyed again
To lose you one more time
Your dry hands, I love,
And every mark on it
Has my destiny written.
And those big brown eyes
Drain me...ravage me
I totally give up.

I had to go there
Because you were there
And I came back
Before...with you
It was all my destiny
I had to be here
To love you.
I fear and wake in the night
Thinking I will lose you.
And don't you know
That I couldn't just see you go...
And when I feel blue
I just spend my time...
Sketching you...

And I did call you...
In my sleep...in my awakenings
In my smiles, in my tears...
My chant of God...
In God's own country
To the hills, to the woods
To the sky, to the sea
I prayed for a lil place...
In your heart my lady.

God chanted...Enchanted

I have started finding meaning
In your 'Nos'
That is how my story goes
Can I be special to you?
I know not how
You are my goddess
Before whom I bow.

I wish you could come down once
On this Earth
In this heart
Held my hand and looked in my eyes
Love me just one day
Made me special

Wish you could see
What I feel for you
How much I care
Wish I could share
How I feel missing you
How I do not want to let you go
How I forget the world,
When I am with you.

I don't want to make you mine
Or cry for you since you love another
I don't want you
To be with me...
I'll give you the freedom
To choose
To leave me
To forget me
I can see you go
I love you so...
I hope you will come back...
If my love you know.

The Time Comes to an End...

Christmas is round the corner
It's also time for me to wrap up
The year shall end and so shall my stay...
I wish we had more time together.

I do recall the first time I saw you on the floor
You looked detached...arrogant at times
But you looked at me with all attention
You held my gaze.
It pinned itself on my psyche
Your sharp face.

I found your name on the newsletter
I do recall the day we smiled
In the restroom
I do remember, I introduced myself at lunch
The story began there and ran off.

Now I know just one intoxication
Which lies in the deep brown depths of your eyes
I shall miss talking to them with mine
I will miss catching in them the golden sun shine.

Not to miss the sweetness of your accented language...
Not to miss the rough feel of your palms...
Not to miss your pixie smile...
Not to miss your expressive face...
Not to miss what you felt for me...
It...will take me a while.

Will you forget me?
Will you remember the times?
I do not know.
I just hope you do...
'Coz I can't help expecting just this bit from you.

A Star

You tell me...I looked green, I was in blossoms, but you left me like the thorns in a desert. Who cares about their blossoms? I travelled to all this wilderness because I was like a lost river who met its sea in you. Where are you my heartbeat? I wish you held me for one more time...my heart should stop then...and I should die just looking at you one last time. I don't like to see anything else again.

You kept me alive all this time...I want to see one last time...those eyes which had so much love and care for me...I want to see that smile...my sun...the light in my life...and I want to hold those hands in mine and feel the breath on my face and I want to kiss that forehead and die...and become a star that shines on you forever....

Love you destroyed me again...ravaged me

You made my heart bleed today

And I can't stand there

Seeing you taken away

I can't look into your eyes

I can't stop myself from telling

I love you...I can't see this...

I am going to leave soon

I am down in an abyss and can't rise

Your smile and happiness

Your honesty and goodness

I know I can't be anywhere

But I love you

Without wanting you

Without trying to control you

And I will never tell you...

I will just love you...

As you said words are not required

I will love you silently

Worship you...

I just give up because nothing can control my heart...just looking at you smiling is enough and I know now why people run away from love...from impossible love because they can't see themselves destroyed by the loss........................I can't see you becoming someone else's...............Love you destroyed me again...ravaged me

Love or Something Like it

It felt awful to slog out at office. Though I did not have a deadline, I had a ticking in head to finish all the work on Saturday rather than sitting on it the next week. Working on a Saturday itself is horrible.

I did not know how to react to her boyfriend booking movie tickets for us. Fast forward and we are walking down a tree-lined lane which is a shortcut to reduce the auto fare. Thanks to my avid map knowledge we pulled the thing pretty well. We reached the mall, freshened up and moved to the food court. Well I do like to compete against my younger counterpart in terms of attracting attention and I did score more. I was terribly elated inside. On the other hand it's actually awful because I like her so much. I think I am in love with her. Her happiness, her smile, her well being matters so much to me. She feels totally at ease as she talks about her best friend and boyfriend. I listen patiently. Then we come upon a VW servicing center and she offers to take me around her native place in her VW car.

The day progresses into lunch, then movie, auto rides, crowded bus rides, beach, sea water, dinner, car drop home. Such a long long time spent with a girl. I don't know when was the last time I spent so much time with a girl. I still feel the emptiness because I see her with her boyfriend. She is sitting beside him in the car. She tends his painful shoulder and then mine when he is gone for a short while. She is shocked at the powerful deltoids as I tell her, about my years of weight training. I tend her shoulders but she find it tickling. I brush her hair from her face and inch towards her as she tries to show me a crab. I could almost feel her face against mine when her guy returns and says something to startle us.

I cannot expect much. I like her guy a lot and I think they are a great couple. But my single life stings me like a nettle when I see them both. I am also not jealous but it hurts somewhere because I have feelings for her. And it hurts more that she is a kind and honest girl who is attracted to me in some way.

As I get down from the car and she wants to come up...I say it's late and bid goodbye to the sweetest couple in this world. I do leave behind something in the back seat, a few drops of secret tears.

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My dedication to you...chand chupa badal mei sharmake meri jaane jaana...I saw the orange moon...I saw your face

My Karva Chauth Date

How do I feel

Just looking at you?

They just pass by, the hours…

Me just looking into your eyes

With a smile on my lips…

Sketching you on the canvas of my heart,

While you turn to go and I call your name

You do not seem to hear it

So I call again… once twice thrice till all hear it.

And you run to me asking what is it that you called?

So I take your name again

To make you blush.

And I want to steal you away

From this world

Take you where we can lie on the sand.

Counting the stars.

One two three four

They blink like glow worms…

I look at you,

To trace the silhouette of your sharp face,

Against the moon.

I come to my senses,

And I realize,

We have sat for eternity,

At that table,

Just looking at each other.

Longing

It is so difficult to handle longing,
When the object of your longing is around,
You end up talking and acting silly,
Your feet seem to slip the ground.

When you are so so near me,
I can feel your presence,
They topple me totally,
The heat of your body and your fragrance.

Your dress brushes my arm,
I feel like holding you close,
And when you look at me,
I totally get disposed.

How long can I control?
How long can I conceal it?
How long can I stay away from you?
How long can I stop my lips?

My lips want to tell you all,
My lips want to kiss you,
My lips want to worship you,
My lips don't want to miss you.

I want to crash down on you,
Like a shooting star,
I want to splash down on you
Like the ocean waves from far.

Take me, finish me...
Start me again,
Love me destroy me...
Fall on me like the rain.

Coup De Foudre

I don't know how I can stop myself from falling into you.

Gradually, I am flowing like a river to the sea.

I cannot resist the slope, the fluid in me.

I want you to be happy and satisfied.

I want to bring this world at your feet.

I don't like to see you sick.

When you are, I see the setting sun in your eyes.

I want to see the sunny heaven in them always.

I 'll chant of God when I look at them, holding your hands.

You are like poetry.

You are like the first stroke in the canvas.

You are like a little serene pond in a green patch.

I look at those idols and I fold my arms in worship.

But I find Her face in you.

I wish I was a little baby in your arms.

And you will cuddle and kiss me to sleep.

While I close my eyes you will pat me.

I know I fit no where in your life.

I don't think I can be anybody in it.

Yet you take away my sleep.

And take away my breath.

You take away my pain too.

And wherever I am, with whoever I am...

My mind just thinks of you...

And my heart beats blue blue

You Take My Breath Away

Every time I see you

You take my breath away

All the words you've spoken

Flows like a river through me

My fortress of control is totally broken

I love your imperfections

Which make you unique

I do have now become an emotional leak

I never knew I will feel like this again

I never knew I''ll turn into insane

It shows in my face

It glows and puts the grace

In me what all did notice

I was like this all the time I wish

I thought about you

I thought about you all day

I touched myself

Thinking you were there

What have I become?

What have you made me?

I am swept apart with your inner beauty...

The Green Maze Muse

Happy Birthday to my ex-Senior. I have been luckily inspired to create a whole junkyard of passionate poems dedicated to this beautiful mesmerizing green knight. Well memories of our confused relation and how much I loved to embarrass her still puts a smile on my lips...so here's the last one which is a sequence to the first love poem in this blog.

'The Green Maze Revisited'

Long since I have walked in the green maze...
Long since I have held that gaze...
Long since I have looked on those hills...
Long since I got drenched in the monsoon drizzles.

It seems like a past life so dear
Its seems so distant yet so near
The rivers change their courses
The seasons rotate and disappear
I find myself lost
When I wonder how I got here...
But I can just close my eyes and dream again
Of the hills, of the rain drenched paths, of the smiles,
Of the riddles, of the journeys...
I can get lost again...
In the endless green,
And search for that flame
To show me the way
Out of this night...
Into the day.

My Mistake

I sometimes think how my mistake

Cost us our happiness

How I lost you

How you lost me

Existing just in my agony

My thoughts, my dreams and in my fantasies.

Why I didn't stop you?

Why was I waiting for a sign from you?

Didn't I know you

What you were into?

What a fool I was

And I cannot reverse

All that's done to my destiny

Which I curse...

I should have told you...

You cannot be someone else's

I won't let you leave me this time

I refuse to cry or take this pain

You are coming with me

Tell your family...farewell

Tell your troubles...go to hell!

I should have told you...

I love you more than anything in this world

And you better accept me as I am...

Is there still a chance?

To tell you?

Sweet Stranger

I lay on the grass gazing at the night sky,

Looking deep and mysterious like you.

It gazed down on me, yet remained so far;

I gazed on… till it turned blue.

I was drenched in the dew;

I could hear birds waking up;

My tired eyes felt heavy;

I wished for a tea cup.

You may wonder, do I think about you?

Do I still remember lying on the bed of roses?

Do I remember your touch and

The warm embraces?

I do remember you looking at me,

From across a crowded room.

I remember going through the dusty archive,

And a madness of a wet afternoon.

I remember your reluctance,

I remember the lies you spoke to me,

I remember googling your name,

And trying to find you in FB.

I do not miss you?

You may wonder...

You may think I regret it all

Thinking as my greatest blunder.

You hardly know,

So do not assume my sweet stranger…

That one day and those stolen moments,

Made my dead life bloom.

The Morning Ritual

The first baby rays of the sun found its way through the curtains. They fell on that face which had a pair of sleepy eyes. The rays lovingly traced the edges of the sharp nose and the pair of ruddy lips.

The long lashes opened up and looked unto the face of the person who held her in her arms. Trying to wake her up and bring her back to the world of reality. Their eyes gazed deeply and lovingly into each other. A sweet line of smile broke up on the ruddy lips as the hands holding her pulled her close as a mother would to her child.

They remained in each others embrace breathing heavy as the one with the ruddy lips started falling into slumber once again. The pair of arms shook her up and then ran fingers lovingly through her long straight hair. No words were spoken.

As they smiled and giggled, the sun rose up and illumined the entire room.