The Titanic...

I have struggled to protect the private me from the rest of the world. A lot of people may describe me as flamboyant, in the face or too open about myself. However, they are wrong. They do not know how difficult it is to pretend everyday. pretend that you are strong, happy, and confident. It is so difficult to admit that I am a loser and a jerk. I am still standing in the same place and it's been ages now. I have tried my level best to take control of everything, hopelessly and meticulously failing in everything. It's ok to be all these but what are the reasons, I don't have a clue. Don't I deserve a good job... a great guy...a comfortable life? I am smart and intelligent...people call me gifted...I am attractive...I am well-educated...What is the problem?

The boy, I was in love with found marital bliss in someone else's arms and as if that was not depressing enough, came back in my life pretending to be a friend when all he wanted me to be was a friend with benefits. The girl, the love of my life came back with promises of repairing our relationship when all she really wanted was some playful distraction from her boring half baked life and career. My work and office, the less said is better as it will take me from being depressed to suicidal.

So what is this private me? A twisted mangled mass of metal, much like the WTC structure after the towers fell. Assumed to be ever powerful but in reality, the Titanic of sorrows and erroneous calculations, which is sinking.

Colors and RED

We need to be very careful about what colors we are using when we are working for any web content. It can be web pages, e-learning or anything. Color is everywhere from backgrounds, font, frames and pictures. Different colors project and communicate different things. Likewise even colors we wear frequently on ourselves project and communicate stuff about ourselves to others.

So what is it with me and red? I used to be very fond of wearing blues, pastel shades and white. Come 2006, I land up in Mumbai and my favorite color changes from White and blue to bright red. Not only red clothes, I became fond of red carpets, rugs, bed sheets, table covers, bicycle, car, buckets, mugs, table cloth, lingerie, door-mat, shoes, junk jewellery, towels, nail polish, bath robe, the list is endless. I started wearing bright colors also.

People who have visited my places in Pune and Bangalore will know what I am talking about. So what is it with me and red? However, recently I find this red inclination waning a bit. It came all of a sudden and it’s going too. So power did the red color have over me?
Was it rebellion, independence, energy, life force, cheerfulness? I used to actually feel represented by this color.

May be some psychotherapist reading this can answer me.