My 2008 came wonderfully with my head rested on the shoulder of someone I deeply loved. As ‘Dus Kahaniyan’ played on the laptop, I was less interested in it and more interested about my future with this special person. Today I feel secure that a few days later I will be joining her current company. Something which she had desired long time back. I have to find her, this is all that is running in my mind now. The girl who had changed my destiny and who knew more about me than I did. She knew my passionate approach to things will kill me.
I can see the future and it’s proved once more. Now all the bad things are also going to come true. About being revengeful, I know I can get what I want and the process has already started. But then I am thankful as everyone who throws shit on you may not be evil and everyone who gets you out of shit may not be an angel. Even as I was leaving behind a part of my life, people took care that I was not hurt by anything they said or did. It was my farewell day at office. But even on this day I heard some of the most rude utterances from someone. I did not feel bad. But when a mail came from a senior asking me to keep in touch with this rude and insensitive person, I lost my control. I did not say or do anything as my head throbbed with pain.
As I am leaving my current city, I am feeling a lot of pain. Something which I have not known before and only felt when I was leaving my hometown for Delhi for my first job. I also have a lot of tension on my head on top of having a parent who hardly understands what I am going through. I am crying hiding away from all eyes. My 31st is going to be the worst so far. Yet should I not rejoice, that I am going with my head held high with a dream of an offer in my dream company?
WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY?
If you think I have lost you somewhere
Look in my tears as they lie on the dirt of road
You will find your name written on each drop
A billion times…
Promises are made to be broken
So you back off
But did you not make any of them?
You broke my doubts every time
By your assurances
Were they not promises?
I have loved you
When you reproached me
I have loved you
When you ignored me
I have loved you
When you insulted me
I have loved you
When you refused to understand me.
When I was sick
You never came to see me
When I went home
You never called me
You never understood my feelings
Did I ask you to return them?
No I didn’t…
I won’t…ever
You have forgotten
What love is…
What loyalty is…
What dedication is…
What conviction is…
What passion is…
When everyone saw it,
You didn’t
You were concerned about the good things
The review sheet…
I was concerned about truth and honor.
Did not everything begin for work,
Should it not end now?
Why do you hate me so much?
Perhaps I should be happy for it.
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