I was just
throwing displaced glances at her. She was chatting on the phone and cooking in
the kitchen. I already knew who she could be chatting with. My heart was
already telling her, Why are you doing this?
I have
known her for the last few months. On and off. Every time, a guy comes
seriously into her life, she goes off my radar. Only wrong guys come into her
life and she sticks with them for a while. Consolation comes to me from friends
saying, This shall pass too and it will not last because fun times don’t last
forever.
Just
knowing her this year, made me question so many things in my life. For example,
when was the time I really did something which made me happy? When was the time
I let go? When was the time I fooled around in gay abandon?
After meeting
her, I have taken more calculated risks in my life this year. Travelling,
meeting more people, being confident, handling my losses with more control and
detachment.
There are
certain toxins in the physical world which are fatal individually but when taken
in moderation, heal serious ailments.
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