Trapped

I just realized that I have just messed up my life. I took my current job as a temporary support. I wanted to try for foreign immigration which becomes bleak once you are 32. I did not try so hard for it and also shelved my plans to learn french which would have made it easier for a shift to Canada.

Why am I stuck to this job? I knew it was a support. Price for everything has increased in the past two years. They have not increased a penny in my salary. On top of that there is no job responsibility clarity. It's not that I have not spoken about it. I also want to shift from the greedy landlord and the crap of a place I stay in. Currently it's not worth its money.

I don't know why I am hanging on to this city, place, and job? There was actually no purpose for me to shift back to this city after I left it almost 4 years ago. About my connection to people here. I know it that it's not going to work out with any of them here. No matter how nice and kind they are to me.

Right now I don't know why I am screwing up my life here. On the other hand I can't really do anything before I legally end my biggest mistake in life. Sometimes I think I never felt so much trapped and helpless before.