Need Bros and Sis not BFs or GFs

Imagine me sitting on a big rock on a sea shore looking at the sunset and ruminating. My quite a few years of life time has passed. I am a serial monogamous bisexual chic. I only fantasize about men and also get turned on by them. I love their company and its virtually impossible for me to live without them. Though necessarily I am not into sleeping relationships with them or committed.

About the women...God help me. I go around wasting my money, patience, time after them only for a pat on my head. I sound like a dog I know. I wish there was a girl in my life who was sincere about me, cared about me, made me feel special, hugged me, kissed me, and was affectionate towards me without being sexual. I always felt like that. Is it that I needed a sister. I have cousins but they hardly understand me though they have loved me too. I feel my compass is totally broken and am lost.

This is a phase when I just need the support, the cuddles, and the affection but not sex. I cannot be serious and casual at the same time. I only want sex when I am committed and also he or she is committed. It's just about bros and sis for me now.