From the one who was wronged and betrayed...

I cannot forget my recent betrayal. The time and circumstances are so much against me. How much money I had spent to come to my present location? Amidst so many odds. Relocation always has a lot of challenges thrown at you. I had discussed what I was good at and what I was not so good at during my interview. I had also cleared the test. Breaking the hearts of so many I left behind, rejecting the offer of a giant, I joined my current organization.

I was consciously given false hopes of meaningful work, increased job responsibilities, decision making powers and management roles, more learning, more challenges. All has crumbled in the last six months. My hurt is so intolerable because of the amount of faith I put on someone. I do not know how can such a person be least bothered about my growth because this organization is so puny? It is a small team and I always looked for a long term relationship. I constantly strove to give my best. I was sincere and loyal to that person. I explicitly expressed how I felt. I tried to voice my legitimate concerns. Now I know the person just heard it and forgot. I was regarded with so much ignorance, with so much insensitivity. Today why should I pay the penalty of someone else’s incompetence of judging me in an improper manner? Was not this person also appointed by the person who appointed me?

It was a conspiracy against me. recession, staying abroad, level in career and past record- all were taken into consideration to put me in this cul-de sac. I will not give up either. I live for my pride of being a person of principles and I shall not compromise my values. On the other hand I do not know how to handle the pain I am feeling inside and the extreme anger. I never thought I will hate someone so much and now I know it shows. I cannot control it but it will pain me a lot because the object of my hatred was once the object of my affection and God knows, how much I had loved that person and how cruelly the trust was broken.

I knew everything yet I refused to accept it. I consoled myself by saying that everything will be all right. I have been through a lot of pain in life and took it like a sport. I do not know why my resilience is failing me. I do not know how to cure this. I have to be far away from all these. On the other hand I think, I want my revenge. I want to teach that person a lesson. Looking back I will forgive that person because my love and devotion was true and selfless so did I not know that I will be put to shame for that.