Why should I?

It's a very hard breaking not heartbreaking thing for someone single during Christmas. I sometimes think is it better to be committed or be single and independent?

Sometimes I feel I was lucky to come here, work here in this designation. On the other hand it has been bad since there is hardly anyone in office with whom I can even informally discuss work. I am the only transition zone employee.

When I liked someone I made it pretty much obvious without showing off but that particular person always wanted to tread on the cautious line. That person is conscious and a thousand times careful not to give any impression of favoring me. Huh its funny since I am the Senior. On top of that, there are days of losing control and so I am sick and tired of being confused by this person. I have let go. Now I only end up being kind and nice but detached. I don't get any assertiveness from that person so why should I show any?

Unfortunately we have also lost any chances of 'we' time and I know for sure that I am leaving early next year. My Kerala travel plans...huh :( I was this close and it's gone...burst like a bubble.