'Our mind is a sponge; our heart is a stream.
Is it not strange that most of us choose sucking rather than running?'
-----Kahlil Gibran
Well sucking is what exactly I am doing right now even though I am sick and tired. How come no one ever found me with their heart or tried to find or feel me? May be they did but I never noticed. I cannot figure out the way I interpret this world or its denizens.
I do not know whether I should give in to love...to longing...to attraction. I have the fear of telling him though he looks at me, I turn away thinking what he might think of me. I am so afraid to be judged. Is he younger than me and so will he see me as a cougar? My mind sucks and my heart dies. I cannot forget his eyes...big and so full of melody. His fair body and ripped being ripping me apart as I sketch him a thousand times on the canvas of my heart with my eyes.
As she leans over me holding the mouse and reading the computer screen, I can smell her mild perfume. I can see the color of her lip liner. But I get conscious that she can smell me too. Does she like the musk cologne I am wearing? May be I smell too masculine. My mind sucks again as it tells me she has a boyfriend and loves him and she is my coworker. I stretch my hand to touch her ear ring but stop.
My lack of focus will hit me hard again. What is it I want? Why can't I focus on more than one thing and why can't I get it?
I need to suck and run...use my heart and mind but both lie frozen at the moment.
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