Really Not Straight

Life is a strange riddle or rather a human life is a strange riddle. The heart strings of a human are bound to so many individuals. Getting unexpected tugs at the strings from something unknown becomes sometimes difficult to handle.

I am also trying to figure out what is that which really clicks me. I can easily be considered the luckiest person in this world. I have very caring affectionate parents who understand me. My spouse who dotes on me…who is forever deeply madly in love with me. My opposite sex best friend who will give my spouse a good steady competition for anything. I have a respectable job and I am economically secure. I have adequate bank balance, two cars, two houses and god knows how much in terms of inheritance.

What do I lack?

I do lack a same sex friend. Someone who will understand me and accept me for what I am. Why is this necessary? Does my craving indicate that I may not be straight or maybe I have problems sustaining a steady relationship with a person of the same sex? I am just trying to figure out what really is the problem. What do I really need from SS (Same Sex) people? What went wrong?

Well one simple answer to this will be that I always end up with jerks. Who call me their friend and actually can’t figure out how to handle out stuff about the person they just called friend. That can be true because these people will typically be with baggage of pain from the past or personal life. I am severely attracted to this pain or rather hidden pain and ultimately end up giving so much importance to alleviate it that I altogether forget the expectations of the real person. These people typically look very confident, charming and dynamic but I discover their Achilles’ heel and there I go busted.

Why does this not happen with opposite sex friends? Well I cannot answer that question. Or may be I am really not straight..:)