Should I tell ?

"Chayan se humko kabhi aapne jeene naa diye
Zeher bhi chaha agar peena to peene naa diye
Apne jo hai diya
Woh to kisine naa diyaa
Zeher bhi chaha agar peena to peene naa diye"

I have this gut feeling that something unfair is going to happen and I think I can actually connect it with my review results. I have skipped reviews in my last two organizations but I knew from before that I had a fair chance of being promoted. Now what is with promotion and who cares about promotion if you get a raise? With the recession in sight things do not look so sunny. But I am serious about my holidays. I want to go home and meet my friends who I have not seen for quite some time now.

Among other things that I want to do are heal myself of the stupid ailments I have got myself into. One of these is my fixation with my boss. This is simply horrible. I am not trying at all to get out of it and gone are the days when I used to take a neutral stance in everything. I still do and see things as they are and not as how I want to see them. I also have to stop thinking so much, analyzing so much. In a way if I think about her what really I can get from her keeping aside our professional relation? She has asked me but I never gave a clear answer.

Should I tell her the truth…the truth which perhaps will shatter her? The truth about who really I am? What I really want? On the other hand I have the feeling that she will take it in a positive manner…I know she will.

Coming back to my review, I am shaking inside just thinking that the worst has happened. No raise...no promotion...probation period extended. If that is the case...then they can very well lay me off. I have endured enough!