The Harbinger

When I feel too much blue and down, I feel like speaking with her. I sometimes feel I played such a big gamble with my life when I joined this company. I was joining this for the sake of someone who was herself very new to the company. I researched about the company and heard about the shuffles and changes. I made my decision. I rejected a dynamic offer from Infy, the company where J is working.

I have always stood up for things I believed in and this time I cannot let my team wither away. I will motivate them and keep them happy. I will inspire them to work. Work with a purpose and a goal. For those who sit in the cabin; they cannot see what happens outside. But I can see.

I will be the Harbinger rather than waiting for orders. In my exit interview my HR manager from my previous organization had asked me…Why are you going? I replied: They need me there. As I see all the familiar faces vanishing one by one, my insecurity deepens its fangs on me. Who shall control me shall be my choice. Just anybody cannot be my mentor.

You have to let your employees choose their mentors, their saviors. Every time when I feel like speaking with her, there arises a huge monster in front of me who tells me, Do not cross your line. It’s not that she has ever refused to help me. Far from being perfect, but still I wonder am I really special? I have always lead people and it shall always be my decision who shall lead me. No one can change this. Not even her.

A whole lot of powerful dynamic women have come in my life. Sometimes as colleagues, sometimes as friends. But for the very first time, I have got that much attached to someone. That means only one thing that I have become more vulnerable. It’s so unlike me. The detached, passionate, workaholic and extremely practical me have suddenly transformed into the emotional, vulnerable, self-conscious and extremely silly me.