Hulk

Well I do miss seeing my boss. We do not have an open cabin culture at my workplace so she sits in her cabin. She hardly comes out. She has started existing only in the memories. I do talk about her a lot with my coworkers. About our first conversation on the phone, our first meeting. Times when I wished to see her so much. The way she spoke with me on the phone when I was sick. And there are so many things I don't talk about or discusss with others.

When I see her wearing those old fashioned glasses, I always feel like taking them out. When I see little drops of water dripping out of her hair after she has splashed her face. Her long nose when viewed from side. Her beautiful feet which she hurt a few days back and which I could have healed instantly because I have that special ability. The reflection of the green hills and sky in her eyes.

I sometimes actually wonder if I stare at her too long and does she realize it? Do I make her conscious? She's actually the reason why I am in this company. Because I researched on her before I joined. The good history which she had...and chemistry and geography.

Just tell me something...do you think any productive worker has the time or interest to observe how beautiful his or her boss is? The answer is NO. When you have no work you waste your time. Just like I am doing. I am really sorry about writing all these so publicly. I only want to work and learn and nothing is happening. My growth and learning curve is dipping downwards and it's really really making me angry. I am becoming Hulk...

Boss please give me some meaningful work. May be I can do anything...anything to help you. Please don't test my patience like this. I just can't take this. I don't understand what is actually keeping me from going and talking to you.

My work experience, team leading capabilities, training and guiding skills and out of the box thinking abilities are all rusting. I have not joined this organisation to get trained or just sit through all these training sessions. I am not even consulted by my RM when these are organised. What am I doing here? Does he even know about my work experiences, my expertise?

There is one big lesson learnt. Never ever take up a job where your work profile and hierarchy is not clearly defined. I had asked before joining but now I know the reality. The person who hired me perhaps was not clear about these because she was also new.

I am a SID. I should be aware of all the major projects running here and about the proposals and scoping in process. I should be training people down here because I have a flexible background- multimedia/ writing/ project management. No training should be undertaken without including me in the discussions. This is what the real situation should be.

Real Situation: I have an identity crisis.